Karnataka Congress Crisis: The Greatest Political Comedy of the Century

This is not a thriller.
This is not a tragedy.
This is pure comedy—live, unpaid, and self-performed by Congress.

And no, this is not about election victory celebrations. Congress already won Karnataka. This is about what happened after winning, when the circus tent opened.

Act One: The Famous 2.5 + 2.5 Formula (Invisible Edition)

Let’s start with the elephant that everyone saw—but nobody wrote down.

Before government formation, all roads in Congress led to one whisper:

• Siddaramaiah – first 2.5 years as CM
• DK Shivakumar – next 2.5 years as CM

No document.
No signature.
No video proof.
Just a “trust me, bro” political understanding.

In Indian politics, that’s equivalent to writing terms and conditions in pencil… and then throwing the pencil away.

Act Two: Siddaramaiah Says “Which Agreement?”

Fast forward.

Siddaramaiah becomes CM. Chair secured. Curtain falls.
Suddenly:

• “No such agreement”
• “High command did not promise”
• “My son says there was never any deal”

Of course.
Because once you occupy the chair, memory loss becomes a medical condition.

It’s like booking a cab with a friend, reaching the destination, and then saying:

“I thought you were paying.”

Act Three: DK Shivakumar and the Waiting Room Politics

DK Shivakumar did the heavy lifting:

• Managed organization
• Faced pressure
• Took risks
• Controlled cadre
• Guarded the party during chaos

All this to become… Deputy CM with a future promise that has no expiry date.

His supporters are not angry.
They are simply asking:

“If the agreement is fake, why was it spoken about everywhere?”
“If it was real, why deny now?”

Valid questions. Dangerous questions. Congress hates those.

Act Four: Split House, Open Fight

Now Congress Karnataka MLAs have chosen IPL-style loyalty:

• Team Siddaramaiah
• Team DK Shivakumar

Daily news leaks.
Statements, counter-statements.
Sons clarifying politics.
Supporters shouting from television studios.

Governance? That can wait.
Chair priority first.

Act Five: Enter the Main Clown 🤡 — Mallikarjun Kharge

Now comes the historic moment.

Mallikarjun Kharge, elected Congress President, chosen after loud demands that:

• Rahul Gandhi will not interfere
• Dynasty members will step aside
• Congress will have an independent, democratic president

Steps before the media and says:

“High command will take the final decision.”

THIS is where the country burst out laughing.

Sir…

• You are the president
• You were elected
• You are at the top of the party structure

So who is this high command above you?

Are you:

• President on paper?
• President without remote?
• Caretaker president?
• Or full-time spokesperson of invisible powers?

If you cannot decide a CM issue, why elect you at all?

Put a board:

“President post for decoration. Decisions handled elsewhere.”

At least be honest.

Congress High Command: Location Still Unknown

Congress talks about “high command” like it’s a god:

• Cannot be seen
• Cannot be questioned
• Decides everything
• Appears only during crises

Is it Rahul Gandhi? Sonia Gandhi? Both? Inner circle? Family meeting? Emotional approval committee?

Nobody knows.
Even the president doesn’t know.

That itself explains Congress’ condition.

The Bigger Joke: Internal Democracy, Only for Posters

Congress demanded:

• Elected president
• End of dynasty control
• Institutional decisions

Reality:

• President waits for orders
• Power stays unofficial
• Responsibility is outsourced
• Confusion becomes governance model

You cannot run a state—or a party—on:

• Fear
• Ego
• Denial
• And invisible authority

Final Scene: Comedy That Isn’t Funny Anymore

Congress in Karnataka today is:

• A party that won but cannot settle
• A CM who denies past understandings
• A Deputy CM who waits endlessly
• MLAs fighting before one year
• A president who says “ask someone else”

BJP doesn’t need to destabilize Congress.
Congress is demolishing itself—brick by brick, quote by quote.

If comedy had an award, this drama deserves:
“Best Self-Directed Political Circus of the Century.”

Sadly, the audience is Karnataka.
And they didn’t buy tickets for this show.

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