Dear Daughter, Some Men Don’t Want Love—They Want Control

If you’re from Kerala or have followed recent news, you’ve likely seen the heartbreaking rise in suicides among young married women—many of whom suffered in silence until it was too late. These tragedies revealed a disturbing pattern: emotional abuse, dowry harassment, and domestic violence inflicted by husbands and in-laws.

In Kollam, two back-to-back cases shook the public. Vipanchika Maniyan and her toddler daughter died by suicide in Sharjah after years of abuse, while Athulya Sekhar was found dead on her birthday, with strong evidence of physical torture from her husband. In Kozhikode, a woman jumped into a river with her child following alleged mental harassment. In Ernakulam, a young mother and lecturer accused her husband of continuous abuse and threats.

These are not isolated incidents—they are warnings. These women were silenced, but their stories speak volumes. It’s time we help young women understand the red flags, choose partners wisely, and never confuse control with love. The blog that follows is written to empower daughters to protect their peace before giving away their hearts.

Dear woman—whether you’re planning to get married or entering a new relationship—please read this carefully.

One day, you’ll meet a man who feels like a dream come true.
He’ll talk sweet. He’ll say all the right things.
He might open doors, pay the bills, and promise you the stars.
But before you give him your heart—pause. And test his character, not just his charm.

Because here’s the truth no one tells young women:
Not every man is looking for love. Some are just looking for control.

The Hidden Danger Behind “Nice Guys”

Some men don’t want a partner—they want a puppet.
They’re not looking for a teammate—they’re looking for someone who stays quiet, stays pretty, and stays dependent.
They don’t dream of building a life with you—they dream of building a life on top of you.

And if you confuse attention with affection, or protection with possession,
you’ll slowly shrink into someone you don’t recognize—until one day, you realize your soul is suffocating in a relationship that looks perfect on Instagram but feels like a prison in real life.

Watch Who He Is When He Doesn’t Get What He Wants

Anyone can be kind when everything is going their way.
But who is he when:

• You say “no”?
• You shine brighter than him?
• You succeed without his help?

Does he cheer you on—or compete with you?
Does he support your freedom—or resent it?

A real man won’t feel threatened by your independence. He’ll feel proud of it.

Don’t Let Loneliness Make You Settle

Sweetheart, love should feel safe.
It should never make you second-guess your worth, silence your voice, or question your value.
A man who truly loves you will never use guilt, gaslighting, or grand gestures to manipulate your decisions.

He won’t say, “If you really loved me, you would…”
He’ll say, “I love you, and I want to understand.”

That’s not weakness. That’s emotional strength.

Pay Attention to the Silent Red Flags

Here’s what I want you to watch for:

• 🚩 He wants you to quit your job, your hobbies, your passions.
• 🚩 He jokes about cheating “just to test you.”
• 🚩 He only praises you when others are watching.
• 🚩 He makes you apologize for things he did wrong.
• 🚩 He punishes you with silence or withdrawal instead of talking things out.

Love is not a reward for compliance. It’s a reflection of mutual respect.

Ask Yourself the Hard Questions

• Does he see you or only the version of you he wants to control?
• Does he support your growth or only tolerate it until you outgrow him?
• Would you still admire him if he had no money, no job, and no status?

Because if you take away his wallet, his looks, and his charm—what’s left?
Is there integrity? Empathy? Humility? Or just ego in disguise?

Choose a Partner, Not a Project

You are not his mother. You are not his rehab center.
You are not the light that must fix his darkness.

Wait for the man who matches your strength, not just admires it.

• The one who respects your boundaries.
• The one who doesn’t need to “win” arguments, but wants to understand.
• The one who doesn’t just want you—but values you.

My Final Words, Daughter

I don’t want you to be afraid of love.
I want you to be ready for it.

Because when a brilliant woman gives her life to the wrong man,
it doesn’t just break her heart—it derails her destiny.

So guard your peace. Protect your purpose.
And when you find a man who loves not just your body, but your mind, heart, and dreams—hold him close.

But never closer than you hold your self-worth. 💛

Written with love, for every daughter who deserves more than a charming smile.
— Nishani

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