How I Conquered Life: From Financially Hopeful to Mentally Broke (With EMIs as Pets)

Once upon a time, in a land far far away (called Real Life), I had dreams. Sparkly, innocent, 1080p HD dreams. I thought education was the magic lamp that would summon a genie called “Financial Stability.” Spoiler alert: turns out I rubbed the lamp so hard, I summoned EMI demons instead.

Ah yes, I still remember the day I finished studying. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and I had a degree in one hand and hope in the other. And then I got my first job — the moment I knew I had finally made it… to the bottom of the corporate food chain.

Step 1: Get a Job.

Expectation: Monthly salary, respect, weekends off, inner peace.

Reality: Monthly trauma, office politics, Excel sheets that never end, and… oh look, it’s Sunday night already.

And the salary? Oh, sweet naive me. After deductions, taxes, and sudden “I forgot I had that subscription” moments, my bank balance looks like it got mugged by adulthood.

Step 2: Get EMIs. Because why not?

• House EMI Earlier (even though I live in it like a paying guest)
• Car EMI (to sit in traffic for 2 hours a day)
• Phone EMI (because if I’m going to cry, at least it should be on a 120Hz screen)
• Personal Loans EMI (for that course I did to get a better job. And expense for being own boss)

At this point, my EMIs have formed a WhatsApp group called “Let’s ruin his weekend”. Every 1st of the month, they all say “Hi 😂” together.

Step 3: Watch mental stability evaporate like petrol

If someone asks, “How are you?” I say, “Mentally… buffering.”
Stress is my new roommate. Anxiety? That’s my emotional support animal.
And therapy? Haha. Can’t afford it. I’m already in a committed relationship with my all EMIs.

Monthly Budget Breakdown (Mood Edition):

But wait — there’s more!

Every time I try to save money, life’s like,
“Aww, that’s cute. Here’s a medical emergency and an unexpected Entrepreneurial Idea.”

People say, “Invest for the future.”
Buddy, I’m trying to survive till Friday.

Career Advice I Wish I Got Earlier:

• Don’t study for financial stability. Just sell overpriced coffee in a minimalist café.
• Or become an influencer. Show your “I woke up like this” face and earn more than engineers.

Moral of the Story?

I came, I studied, I got a job, I got EMIs, and now I cry in both low light and daylight.

But hey, at least I can proudly say:
I am the CEO of Broken Dreams Pvt. Ltd., fully bootstrapped with zero mental funding.

If you’re also on this fun rollercoaster of adulthood, let’s start a club:
“We thought we’d be rich by 30 but now we’re just tired and in debt at 40’s.”

Membership free — just bring your EMIs and a sense of humor that’s dying slowly inside.

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