The Ambani Wedding: Where Business Wears a Sherwani and Does the Dandiya

So, you’re wondering what the combined net worth of the guests at the Ambani wedding in Jamnagar might be? Let’s just say, if they all chipped in for a pizza, they could probably buy the entire pizzeria chain (and maybe throw in a space station for good measure).

But hey, who cares about mere net worth when you’ve got Davos disguised as a sangeet? This wedding isn’t just about celebrating love; it’s a business meet disguised in a sherwani.

Remember those good old days when you’d call someone for lunch and accidentally close a multi-million dollar deal? Well, the Ambanis took that concept, sprinkled it with some Bollywood glitter, and voila! – The wedding of the decade (or is it the business deal of the century?).

Newsflash: 38 million weddings happened in India last year, but guess which one gets all the headlines? The one with the tycoons doing the garba! I mean, come on, even Hanooman, the upcoming AI model from Reliance (conveniently launching around the same time), wouldn’t be able to spin this much publicity gold.

But hey, why are all these VIPs, whose five minutes are worth more than your entire life, even attending? Well, darling, it’s all about “Business ki baat hai, mota bhai!” (It’s all about business, big brother!).

• Bill Gates is there to launch a global cloud center with Jio (because apparently, saving the world can wait).
• Mark Zuckerberg is less interested in “I do”s and more interested in the global “I want a piece of the pie”.

• Sundar Pichai is just reminding everyone that Google already has a stake in Jio, in case they forget amidst all the dancing.
• Bob Iger is there because Disney+ Hotstar is merging with Viacom18, and hey, free wedding food is always a bonus, right?
• Saudi Aramco’s chairman might be there to rekindle a failed $15 billion deal with Reliance. After all, what’s a little heartbreak compared to a juicy chemical contract?
• Shantanu Narayan from Adobe might be there to discuss a future partnership with Jio Brain. Because what’s an AI model without the ability to edit your wedding photos to billionaire perfection?
• Ivanka Trump? Well, 2024 elections are coming up, and you know, strategic alliances and all that jazz.

• And don’t forget the celebrities! Because in India, what sells better than a good love story? A love story with a Bollywood soundtrack and a cricket match thrown in for good measure.

So, the next time you see pictures of the extravagant Ambani wedding, remember, it’s not just about love and celebration. It’s a masterclass in turning a personal event into a global business spectacle. And hey, if they can do it, maybe you can too. Just remember to invite Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg to your next office picnic. You never know what deals you might strike!